This is a offshoot of my previous blog. However, I wanted to put in words the mindset I was in when I woke at 6 am in the morning angrier than I've ever been.
My roommate woke me up in the middle of what I can describe as one of the worst sleeps I've ever had.
In it I saw my grandparents, who have all now passed on. And me telling them how much I missed them and loved them. It was painful (within the dream and now that I rethink about my dream) to see them leave. Since I was younger, I never let it affect me emotionally. I know I am already an emotionally a weak guy, but now I've come to accept it and have been working on getting stronger.
Then it was also a repeat of all the drama, the heartaches, the heartbreaks, the fights, the feeling of loneliness, the depression, etc. from freshman year and fall of last year in one dream. I don't know what it was about, or where all this came from, but I am ok now.
On the bright side, I get to sleep now! :-)
Hey hang in there, ak, if you accept things for what they are, and give props for all the goods things in your life... and most important of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself, I think you should be A-ok.
ReplyDeleteAnd be patient, these things take a while.
thanks! but who are you oh great happy mantis
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